Red light district by night in Amsterdam the Netherlands

Debating whether or not a woman at a Las Vegas bar, casino, or club is an escort is a pastime as old as the profession itself (which I’m told is the oldest of all professions). In my years as a Las Vegas resident I have earned a P.H.D. in escort identification. My goal today is to share some of that expertise with you. As a disclaimer I must tell you that this information alone does not make you a professional, there is a ton of on site training involved before you can add “professional escort identifier” to your resume. Having said that, here are some foolproof ways to identify an escort in Las Vegas…

She’s drinking alone or with a guy as/more disgusting than you.

You know when you see this horrible slob of a man with a really beautiful woman and you think to yourself, ‘How does THAT guy get THAT girl?!?” Well, it’s very simple; he paid for her. I know what your thinking now, “Well, what if that guy just has a great inner beauty that shines through and if a woman would just get to know him, she might fall in love with him.” I can’t believe you thought that. What’s wrong with you? She’s an escort.

She hangs out by a winning craps table/roulette table.

Escorts love winners. And when I say they love them, I mean they love to have sex with them in exchange for the money they won. It’s the first rule of opening a business: location, location, location. If your business is having sex with men for money, setting up that business near a drunk man with newly won money is a genius business strategy. And escorts are nothing if not genius business strategists.

She accepts money for sex.

This is one the most defining characteristics of escorts. Accepting money for sex is really the essence of their being. If you meet a woman at a casino or at a bar in Las Vegas and she happens to mention that she would accept currency in exchange for sexual favors, it is highly likely she is an escort.

You ordered her to come to your room and then she came.

Another dead give away. If you happen to look up an escort service online or in the Yellow Pages (why do you have a Yellow Pages?) and you place an order for a woman to come to your room, and then a short time later a woman shows up to your room, well, you’ve got yourself an escort, my friend.

She dresses just like every other woman at the club.

I know this doesn’t seem to be a tip that will help you decipher an escort from just a club rat, but that’s the point I’m trying to make. There’s not much of a difference. Whether you pay for the bottle or you just put the cash right in their hand, you’re likely to end up with the same empty vessel to defile. One you tell the truth to and one you spend the whole night lying to. Las Vegas escorts are good for nothing if not a chance to speak honestly to a woman.

She looks you in the eye.

If an attractive woman is looking at you from across the bar, maybe she’s just interested in getting to know you. If you check back a few seconds later and she’s still looking at you…she’s an escort. I didn’t make the rules; I’m just letting you know how it works out here in Las Vegas.

She says something along the lines of, “I’m an escort.”

This is a classic escort move. Coming out and saying she is an escort is an easy way to know she is an escort. I know it sounds complicated, but it’s really not. She uses her words to communicate, you use your ears to listen and that’s pretty much the long and short of it.

Whelp, that’s it. Now go out there and find yourself some escorts. Or just randomly ask women if they’ll trade sex for money. I can’t see how that could possibly backfire.

About this extremely talented author:

Kevin O’Connor is a content writer for Olicity Online; a Las Vegas based marketing company. Full disclosure, this Las Vegas Escort site is a client. Don’t you judge him.

Editor’s Note:

I thoroughly enjoyed this article. My standards for accepting guest posts is generally an original post that  has clear communications. Creativity, a sense of humor (or hubris) is too rare to expect. Thank you Kevin for a unique post. 

Ever since Netflix decided to raise its prices and split up its DVD’s by mail and online streaming movies, it seems like the company just can’t catch a break.   A flurry of outrage spread across the internet after the base price for the movie rental service went up 50%, and even the Facebook page for Netflix was littered with a slough of comments berating the move to increase prices in the middle of a recession.

Even after apologizing for the outrage it caused over the price hike, Netflix then continued to cause even more of a stir by changing the name of its DVD’s by mail to Qwikster, essentially separating the two services and confusing more of its subscribers.

Now more than ever people are leaving Netflix in droves and are looking for other alternatives to watch and rent movies.  Here are 5 other movie service alternatives that angry Netflix users can use to continue to watch the movies they love without all of the Netflix drama.

Hulu Plus

The great thing about Hulu Plus is that many electronic devices like the Xbox 360 and TVs already have the ability to play Hulu movies and shows just like with Netflix.  Hulu is most known for its offerings of TV shows but its beefing up its movie database as well.  Some things on Hulu are free, but Hulu Plus offers many more shows and movies for $7.99 a month and it’s a great alternative to Netflix.  The only downside to Hulu is the intermittent commercials that will pop up every now and then, but they are usually fairly brief.

Blockbuster

It may seem strange for Blockbuster to be in this list after the company has filed for bankruptcy, but they are still offering some attractive options for movie watchers.  The company offers DVD’s by mail as well, and even though one DVD at a time will cost you more than Netflix, Blockbuster also offers online streaming for only $2.99 a month and unlike Netflix, you don’t have to wait an extra 30 days for new releases.  And if you happen to still have a physical Blockbuster store near you, you can exchange your DVD by mail for something else if you change your mind.  And since the merger with Dish Network, Blockbuster movie streaming may soon come right along with your satellite TV.

Redbox

You can find a Redbox just about everywhere these days, so they are very convenient.  Whether you are shopping at the grocery store or just stopping at a drug store, you can probably find a Redbox very close to you, and at only $1 for a DVD rental, Redbox is really giving Netflix a run for its money.  Some places have increased the price to $1.25 but it’s still a great deal unless you are forgetful and you have to pay an extra dollar for every day the DVD is late.  Redbox also has new releases so you don’t have to wait for Netflix to get those new releases in their queue.

Zune 

Zune is also built-in to many electronic devices but you don’t have a monthly fee.  You simply pay for the streaming or download of any movie you want to see.  There isn’t a lot of selection available but you can get new releases right away and with fast internet speeds you can be watching that new movie in a matter of seconds.  If you only watch a few movies a month, Zune is a great alternative to Netflix.

Apple TV

For $99 you can get an Apple TV box that will allow you to watch movies from the iTunes marketplace.  So if you are already used to using your iPod to listen to music, you are probably already familiar with using iTunes and making the switch to watch movies  should be a piece of cake.  However, you will have to pay $3.99 for movies and $.99 for TV shows.  There are no physical DVD’s with this option, but iTunes is always broadening its selection and should be getting more new releases in all the time.

About the Author:

Philip is a writer for a service that reviews the best identity theft protection services with articles on Lifelock and Trusted ID reviews.